Bryan Wilhite of “The Rasx () Contex”, has posted Jewel Woods’s “The Black Male Privilege List’, ( http://jewelwoods.com/node/9), a composition of different types of black male privilege, both in and outside of the black community. Mr. Woods speaks of how many black men are in denial of the privilege they have as 1) men in the wider context of masculinty in the world; and 2) as black men in the black community. Here’s an excerpt:
“Jewel Woods is male. Let’s get that straight. And, without him, I would not have been able to write “Flippant Remarks about the ‘mass exodus of African American male tourists to Brazil’.” So I think it is my Blog-civic duty to respond to (almost) all 94 of the items on “The Black Male Privileges Checklist” (hat-tip to Liberator Magazine for letting me know about this). I do this heavily under the influence that my opinion does not truly matter to the people who should care the most: that would be Black women in particular and contemporary, urban women in general. Too many women are too busy being oppressed (and I just wrote those words in this sentence without any sarcasm) and making conscious/subconscious plans of revenge against male monsters to care about what this “monster” has to say.
“The eye of my imagination sees so clearly a woman 100 years from now reading my poem, “void this misogyny,” being driven to tears with the desire to meet me and talk to me because suddenly I am so interesting. Well, guess what lady: 100 years from now I’ll be dead! And I have been using the most advanced communication technology in the history of the white world for over a decade and I have yet to discover any example of this tool being used to its fullest—especially in the world of literary arts. So in an effort to contribute to the future—because the future is always better (as it selects for African genes)—here are my responsible responses:
Read the rest of his post here: http://kintespace.com/rasxlog/?p=1115
I agree with much of Mr. Woods list, especially this comment he makes on black men who feel that they do not have privileges because so many black men look at privilege as a white male “thing”. Per Mr. Woods:
“The Black Male Privileges Checklist was born out of years of organizing men’s groups and the numerous — often heated — conversations I have had with men while utilizing Barry Deutsch’s The Male Privilege Checklist. In my experiences, most men would object to at least some items on the Male Privilege Checklist. However, “men of color”, and especially African American men, often had the sharpest criticisms of the Male Privilege Checklist and the most problems relating to the idea of male privilege.
“There are many reasons why black men would be reluctant to identify with the concept of male privilege. One of the most important reasons is that our experience with privilege is based on a history of political, economic, and military power that whites have historically exercised over black life. This conceptualization of privilege has not allowed us to see ourselves with privilege because the focus has been placed largely on whites. Privilege is not restricted to economic, political, or military areas of life. Privilege is also social, cultural, sexual, institutional, and interpersonal in nature. Our inability to have a more expansive understanding of privilege and power has foreclosed important insights into virtually every aspect of black men’s lives and other “men of color”.”
Some of the biggest scoffers of black male privilege have been black men. But, why does that not surprise me? All males have certain basic privileges over all women, and many black men feel that because they are not white men and do not control the financial, entertainment, and legal institutions of America, that there is no way they can have privileges of any kind.
But, they do.
And where black men have the most privilege is in the black community.
Now, I am not saying that black men do not face racial-profiling, being shot 40-50 times, but they have more validity in the black community that do black women.
That some black men still consider feminism as a “white woman thing” is sad. It was black women and other women of color who truly wrote the book on feminism, most notably the black lesbians of the Combahee River Collective: https://kathmanduk2.wordpress.com/2007/02/03/the-combahee-river-collective/
Or that feminism’s greatest champions and advocates have been black women: https://kathmanduk2.wordpress.com/2007/01/02/the-origins-of-black-feminism/
I have included the “Black Male Privileges Checklist” into my “Petition Blogroll” to the right. Here is my take on the “Black Male Privilege List”. Some of my responses are to Bryan Wilhite, where I agree with his assessment of Mr. Woods’s list; some where I disagree with Bryan; a few where I disagree with Mr. Woods.
On to the list:
LEADERSHIP & POLITICS:
1. Yes, “race’ is a social construct, as well as fluid. Race is not mutable, but, race remains a concrete daily experience for black people. I do agree, as a black WOMAN, that black women are beaten over the head where race and gender are concerned, and people DO expect black women to choose their race over their gender in political matters. Remember the hell black women voters caught for voting for Hillary instead of Obama? Black men have never been questioned the way black women were questioned in their voting decisions. A black woman could not go to the beauty salon without having a mic stuck in her face and be asked, “But, why are you NOT voting for Obama?” as if black women owe anyone their vote based on skin color alone.
Race may be a white supremacy lie, but racism is as real as racial stereotypes, housing/residential segregation, disparities in prison sentencing, wages, etc.
2.I agree with you, BUT. . .
. . . .reading any kind of history of black/African people always leans towards the black male perspective, as if black women do not exist. The best way to sum it up, is a title I like to evoke:
“All the Women Are White, All the Blacks Are Men. . . .But, Some of Us Are Brave”.
I have asked people of various races, Quick! what “image” comes to mind when you hear the words “women”, “black”. Dollars-to-donuts, 95% people (no matter their race) think of black men as opposed to black women with the word black, and 95% people think white woman with the word woman.
Yes African/Black women have held the world and this country together moreso than black men or anyone else.
Hell, even the sellout black traitors during slavery have been black men. Let me count the ways:
-July, Peter Devesny, to name just a few.
The Chinese saying, “Women hold up half the world”, well, black women hold up all the world, as far as I am concerned. You cannot speak of “Black/African History’ and leave out black women. To do so insults and degrades ALL Black/African women and their unhearalded contributions and accomplishments.
3. I agree. Black women are the true workers of the civil rights movement. The majority of the male leaders were pushed into the forefront. Back then, it would have been anathema to allow a black woman to lead the CRM. When they did, inevitably it was taken over by the males and they got full credit for much of what black women CRM workers did. (And that goes triple for the Black Panther Party, Cleaver and his black female-raping self not withstanding.)
4. I agree, but, with some history fact-checks:
Yes, NAACP, overwhelmingly MALE, WHITE AND BLACK. But, a few were women. Then again, the slights and disrespect happened anyway.
Mary Ovington. Heard of her? She is more well-known to people who know the NAACP’s history, but, many people forget that the great Ida. B. Wells-Barnett was also a founding member of the NAACP. But, more people remember Ovington (a white Jewish woman), and DuBois and Springarn before they remember the little black lady who single-handly took on the vicious lynch mobs across America.
So, yes, NAACP, male.
5. When was the last time during a racist incident, you heard NBC, CBS, FOX, etc., run to the phones and call up a black woman state rep., mayor or other political figure? Always like a broken record, they call out the “Jackson/Sharpton” brigade, as if black men ALL speak up for black women. They no more speak up for all black women any more than all white men speak up for all white women. Unless it is about a black man, black women are left holding the shitty end of the stick everytime. Just ONCE, I would like to see the pundits seek out a BLACK WOMAN when a racial incident occurs. God knows, I am sick to death of half the black population being treated as lepers who have no agency, not to mention, that we have no advocates who deign to speak for us———unless it is something in it for them.
Facts: black men politicians are always taken more seriously than black women politicians. Hell, black men are taken more seriously than black women, especially the black women-haters like Snoopy Dog and Fitty Cent, who have leeched themselves rich and fat off the blood and backs of black girls and women, as well as black men in the black community.
6. They are out there:
Sheila Jackson Lee
To name but a few.
Oops! Wait. I forgot………black women are INVISIBLE. We do not exist in the black community nor in America.
7. “American privilege”? I don’t think so. I have met MANY, MANY black men who have not an idea of the existence of Anne Petry, Patricia Hill Collins, bell hooks, Audre Lorde, Barbara Harris, Katherine Cleaver, Assata Shakur.
Many blacks think only black men have contributed to any movement or philosophy, but, then again, it does not help that many black’s idea of feminism is the image of white women, when black women wrote the book on true feminism—-which is for ALL humans: women, children, and MEN.
8. Thank you. Cleaver the Rapist APOLOGIZED to the white race for raping white women.
Like the gutless wonder that he was, he NEVER apologized to the black girls and women he raped as practice targets before he went on to raping white women.
9. Depends on the profession. Some black men do make more than black women. And for starters, black men men make 77 cents for every dollar a white man makes. Black women, earn 66 cents for every dollar.
“I blame no one but myself for this—when one has to place blame. My number one problem is that I am Black man—many Black women (and more than one wily brother) know how to take a lot of Eurocentric workplace punishment (because, likely, they took a lot of Afro-centric childhood punishment)—and for those women with the technical chops—they will go far, very far.”
Yeah, that’s us mules of the world black women. Guess we had to get something out of all the abuse and hell we have suffered at the hands of the Big Three: White Men, White Women, and Black Men.
I guess there is something to be said for those who hang in there, even if suffering tormenting hells. Then again, many black women realize that in the end they can truly count on no one but THEMSELVES in the end. It is not only the white community that vilifies black women. So too, does the black community. Not to mention, taking black women for granted.
“I have heard similar stories of ambivalence from Black women who return home from college only to be dismissed and avoided.”
Welcome to the club.
You will find MORE black women in that club, than you do black men.
10. Read my response to #5.
11. “This is simply a lie. I have a childhood filled with Black girls identifying my dark skin color as “wrong” in various capacities. Since I actually grew up in a Black working class neighborhood in Los Angeles, my earliest, direct experiences with racism was through these Black girls. And these Black girls are still here to this day. Just because some male-dominated rap videos came out in the last 15 years suddenly it us Black men doing all the hating. Hah!”
Whoa. Back up and read slowly what he stated. Black women ARE denigrated more than black men because men do not face a so-called beauty concept the way women do. Yes, black people disparage each other on skin color issues (”colorism”), and black males have been dissed just as much as black females. But, I dare you to show me a black man who is disparaged the way black women are in the black community and outside the black community, based on unattainable Eurocentric beauty standards. And don’t give that lame rapper comment. Black men like SD and FC have figured out if you are going to degrade black women, why the hell not make money out of it? So, no, black men DO NOT face the shit that black women face in a white-woman-worshipping/black woman-hating society.
When I as a black woman read/hear of black men stating hatefull comments against black women (Wesley “Self-Hating” Snipes-types, famous or not), I have to wonder, who are they trying to score brownie points with? Beating down black women only gets black men like Snipes contempt. A black man is the envy of the world. For all the wrong reasons, but, the day I see black women lauded and celebrated for their beauty by ALL MEN, then will people be able to compare the life experiences of black men to black women—-black men who never have to suffer from BOTH RACISM AND SEXISM the way black women do in this country. Black women are third-class citizens in this country, and in the BC.
12. Tell me about it.
Also read, “Hair Story: Untangling The Roots Of Black hair In America”.
13. Women, no matter their race, are castigated for weight gain. When was the last time you heard, “Fat jolly woman”, said without much derision? A man can be fat and stupid, but, until he opens his mouth, he is often accorded more respect than a fat woman.
Even if he does not have an out of control thyroid gland.
14. Geeeeaaaaaaaaaang! Wrong. A woman is judged by her looks. Many women are written off by many men because they are not thin enough, short/small enough, light-bright-damn-near-white enough, submissive enough, acquiescing enough, deferrring to male privilege enough.
“As women seek equality with male patriarchal stereotypes, I’m seeing more than a few selecting males for youth and beauty—just like a male would.”
I disagree. Few women are doing this. Many women still look for that man who is slightly older than them, makes more money than them, has more education than them.
I’ll be happy if I find a man who listens to me and I can have an intelligent conversation with him without having to recreate the world to converse with him.
SEX AND SEXUALITY:
15. On the “healthy” males, are you saying that males who view pornography are deviant and psychologically pathological? As for porno, WHITE MALES are the overwhelming purchasers of porno, because it is marketed to them. Degrading women in varous types of porno showcase perverted acts against White women, Asian women, Black women, etc. Porno is not processed and sold with the interests of men of color in mind.
Correct me if I am wrong, but, when was the last time you saw a WHITE MAN degraded in a porno film?
As for the “moneyshot” ejaculating on female’s faces, I look upon it as a degrading act since it is akin to using her face as a napkin ejaculated onto.
I am familiar with sexual initiation rites in soem African societies, so for me this is not a new revelation.
16. I agree with the author.
Many men are not raised to give pleasure to women, only to gratify themselves, no matter how much the woman cries in pain.
“I hate this “belief” because it is actually true for women in a love/hate relationship with patriarchy and gluttony. Women have asked me to smack that ass—hard. Now I did not hate to smack that ass but I hate the larger system of lowered sensitivity and confusion. Women are very tough. They largely have higher thresholds of pain than males do—especially me. More than a few women will look down on me for preferring to go slow and gentle with them because they prefer to ride hard most of the time. I’m just keeping it real and letting you know, homes.”
Unfortunately some women had sex for the first time or had sexual experiences where they did not learn that rough hard painful sex IS NOT a part of a healthy sexual relationship between a man and a woman. If you (man or woman) only know rude, crude, cruel harsh treatment, if the only world of intimate human contact you know is based upon painful sex, then it is highly unlikely that you will consider gentle tender sex as normal.
The first time for a woman makes quite an umpact on her psyche, moreso than it is for a man.
“Women are tough.”
So, women are blow-up dolls that can take pain more than men? I don’t think so.
Then again, I guess we have to be tough considering 100,000+ years of shit we have had to endure from men.
“They largely have higher thresholds of pain than males do—especially me.”
Show me where women have higher pain thresholds. Many women have bought into the lie that they should NOT receive pleasure from sex, and some even believe that as long as it hurts it must be right and normal.
Fact: if it hurts, it is not normal. Tearing the lining out of the vagina helps no woman, no matter how much she lies to herself about it.
Give me a man who LISTENS to what I desire in a sexual relationship, and I will give you a man who thinks more of just his penis.
Plus, physical pain is not the only kind of pain men can cause. Psychological pain can be just as terrifying as well; just as long-lasting as a woman’s lifetime on this Earth.
17. Men do not have to be Catholics to still believe in the hypocrisy of the woman being a virgin, and that the man does not have to be one.
With all the sex going on now, how the hell do men expect many women to be virgins? Or celibates? If men want women to remain virgins, then they have to practive what they preach.
On the herpes.
I hear ya’.
Now, further discussing the virgin hypocrisy:
If you have dated a woman for 6+ months, she is a virgin, she wants to wait until marriage—ot better yet, ALL THE WOMEN in your vicinity are virgins/celibates and they are holding out until marriage.
What do you do then?
And no going to another neighborhood. You and all the other males stay right there where you live and tell me what your actions would be then.
With all these virgins, and celibates walking around who are saying “No” until marriage?
18. And I call bullshit. A woman says no, accept that. Now, if she is pushing up against you saying no, I would question her psyche on sex. Is she afraid she will lose you if she does not get down? Does she feel that if she does the nasty that it will make you stay with her?
“There is no woman sexier than a woman who means yes and can look you straight in the eyes and say, “Yes.”
Okay, I will agree with you there, at least in the case of a man looking me in the eye and saying, “I care for you as a human being, and not as some walking life support for a vagina’ “.
And there is no man more sexier than a man who knows when to back off when the woman says and means no. Believe me, many women will thank you for that.
19. For women this is still true. Especially in date/acquaintance rapes. “How much did she drink?” “Was she drunk?” “What, she WAS drunk? All the more reason to rape her.”
How a woman was dressed has nothing to do with rape.
If that were so, how are the rapes of 5-year-old girls, nuns and elderly women explained?
Rappers. Or should I say, “rapers” who pervert the history of black people.
20. Such terms speak of misogyny against women and weakness of some men’s fears of women.
21. I can never see how any ONE MAN can please more than one woman. Must be more of a living hell, than paradise.
22. Many men still dream of the young virginal non-experienced girl they can “break in”, usually to her detriment, and his sexual gratification.
“I prefer to be with holistically healthy, mature women who can hold a conversation with me. Just read what I have written here and guess what kind of woman you know that would be very eager to talk to me because this woman moves thoughts like gold diggers move mountains. Tell that woman to look me up on Facebook.”
Go head on, with your bad self.
“I won’t hold my breath.”
Now, now. Did we, or did we not have this conversation before? I do somewhat remember responding to another post of yours about holding your breath.
….what post was that?
23. Good to know you feel that way. Besides, the more people you sleep with the higher your chances of STDS, AID, Herpes, and not to mention, Glen Close of “Fatal Attraction”, well, at least her character she portrayed in that movie.
24. For some men, porno is a way of life, and for some men, pornography is a how-to primer on what they consider a normal relationship. Fancy what they find out when many women are not into B&D, handcuffs, whips.
25. Yeah, what is a “purity ball”? That’s a new one even to me.
26. Glad to hear that, BUT, many men think, porno or no porno, that causing a woman pain is something to be manly proud of. No, it is not. Causing pain is just that. Sadistic. Low. And mean.
27. ALL of American culture disses women and motherhood. “Mom and Apple Pie”, my ass.
28. I consider it a privilege. Black women are derided and insulted enough by white popular culture—-must black men grovel to making money off the barbs and jabs into black women?
Oops! I forgot. Black women are eveRyone’s punching bag. Not to mention that there are not many black men who would have the balls to attack and laugh at white women the way Perry and others of his ilk do. And just because a black woman laughs at it does not make it right.
Many whites laughed and jeered while white lynch mobs tortured black men AND women.
So, I guess that made ritualized lynching funny?
Many blacks laughed at Stepin’ Fetchit and “Amos n’ Andy”, so that made it right?
When you have only denigrating stereotypes all your life from EVERYONE, when you have eaten garbage all your life, then you all of a sudden start eating healthy food—you vomit. Black women need to stop the consumption of hated images that tear them down. Take a mind laxative. Purge themselves. Then challenge the black women-haters like Perry.
With their pocketbooks.
Snap them shut hard, against his money-grubbing fingers.
And just because Perry slept in his car did not give him the right to get ahead at black women’s expense.
Black women need to pull their heads out of their asses and stop the laughing. They dont realize it, but the world is laughing AT them, not WITH them.
Now let’s see some black women start making fun of black men the way Perry does. I guarantee you, black men (and some sexist black women) will scream and howl about the poor, poor put-upon black man.
Okay, ya’ don’t want to sleep in your car. Fine, find a way up out of that destitution, but not at the expense of black women. You don’t have to pimp black women’s images and dignity to make a fast buck.
29. 30.31. Co-sign.
32. White “kids” who would not know what a black person’ life in America is really like. White “kids’ who would not give a black person the time of day to learn and understand that black person.
33. “Pimp”: a leech on women and a dreg to society.
34. Oh, really? Until THEY have a female member of their family called a bitch or ho?
35. Tell me you do not condone spouse abuse?
36. Haven’t seen the “Veronique” movie yet, though I have heard of it and I have heard of Kieslowski.
37. And I looove seeing those Asian women kick kungfu ass!
38. If a man thinks it will get him more women, then he will “thug” with the best of them.
Oh, and that man definitely will receive no opposition from MOST other men.
ATTITUDES AND IDEOLOGY:
39. Yeah, that’s the post I had in mind.
What some men call “attitudes” is the strength black women had to build up to survive the weak men (black women-haters) of the world.
40. See the beginning of my post above 🙂
42. 43. Double co-sign.
44. I agree. Things were going good until men changed what was a good thing for humanity. Thanks for nothing Akenaton!
45. As bell hooks stated: “Feminism. It’s a black thing.”
46. Cosign. Thank you E. Franklin Frazier. Thank you copycat, Daniel Patrick Moynihan.
Black matriarchy, my ass.
Although I will say that “Black male “privilege” identifies with white male privilege”, is very true. Why do you think white men do not have to vilify and degrade black women like in the good old days? They have whores like SD and FC to do that for them, and other not so famous regular black men to do that for them, just as white men can have black men degrade and vilify white women as well. You do know that because of MALE PRIVILEGE, ALL MEN can band together to shit on women, even if those women are of their own race and the shitting is being done by a man of another race?
47. Co-sign, with you.
48. “My guess is that this item mixes two debilitating influences on the sexuality of Black women: the traditional need to suppress open, honest sexuality to prevent rape and murder during the era of legal American slavery and the white missionary tradition of suppressing female sexuality that still runs the Black church to this day.”
“My other guess is that this item suggests that we Black males have the “privilege” to “escape” these debilitating influences on Black women by having more ‘open,’ ‘honest’ sex with women from different so-called “races.”
“Many Black men who have spoken to me about this do not consider this a “privilege” but, at best, an “alternative” and at worst the last resort. Do remember that the Black men that speak to me (about these personal issues) are not famous Hollywood actors, investment bankers, sports stars or any celebrity of any kind.”
Oh, really? Black men CAN escape the debiltating influences that still exists for black women. Even thoguh black men are lauded for their supposed sexual prowess, black women on the other hand are not lauded for their unique beauty. Black women face a double standard that no black man, or any other man can survive on a day to day basis.
Many men do not have the balls to hold up under the challenges that black women have enudured in this rathole of a black-woman-hating country.
Stop the castigation of the women of your own race. Stop the running to women of other races. You (black men) won’t find yourselves there. Honor and acknowledged the beauty of black women’s strengths.
We have survived some hellacious shit in this damn country.
Strentghs we are envied for.
But NOT the experience it took to get us there.
I agree with the author on all of the above.
60. I pity those women. I thank you for Fay Jasmine. I certainly appreciated what you did.
61. “Sarcasm”, huh? Try telling that to a young Ethiopian girl or Kenyan girl who has just had her clitoris, labias, vulva hacked off with a dirty piece of glass, and the remains TIGHTLY SEWN UP for some unfeeling male to have the tightest sex in the world. Not to mention his contempt, and cowardly fears of her body that she was born with.
Damn, I mean what is up with men and their fears and envy of women’s bodies?
62. Until males experience wartime rape the way women do, I want be shedding any tears anytime soon for males who do not get the horrific residue of such crimes against the humanity of women.
64. Whoa. Where has this author been living? To some extent, this is true (Black American men traveling to Brazil to have sex with Brazilian women/girls because of some racist stereotype against them), but, WHITE MALES overwhelmingly commit sexual outrages more than any other group when it comes to traveling abroad for sex from people living at starvation levels in Third World countries.
Some black men may be dingbattish enough to think they are “white men”, that they can run with the big dogs of sexual perversions, but, facts have to be faced. They cannot run with white male “Ugly American/European” behaviour. Besides, mistreating women of Brazil because they can only shows that black men who do such crap are no different from any other race of men.
65. I would not call it a privilege, BUT, men certainly have the monopoly on starting wars and killing everyone in their pathway. Not to mention the millions of rapes committed against females, which are war crimes.
66. Don’t even go there. Black women still lose out more in the dating world than do black men. But, then again, this statement:
“There were so few of them there.”
Could it be that those black girls knew they were in limited supply, the way some black men on campus are, and they behaved the way some black men do—-scarce in numbers, so pick and choose ANY woman over a black woman?
67. Well, that is the way men are allowed to think, is it not? Where is the female equivalent of sowing her wild oats?
68. Yep. It is not the EDUCATION that you have, it is what you do with that education that is the turn-on.
Give me a techno-geek who can explain the schematic of the difference between chrominance and luminance and the horizontal lines of resolution of 800, as opposed to 480 horizontal lines of resolution.
Be still my beating heart.
69. Don’t know about that one. My professors were either white women, white men so I cannot debate this one.
70. Worry about marrying a black woman? Hell, there are more black women than black men, so where’s the worry for ANY black man?
71. I agree with the author.
72. Hmm. I never looked at it that way.
Maybe I am reading the statement from a different perspective.
Why be a small fish in a big pond (black man on all-black campus), when you can be a big fish in a little pond ( one of a few black men on all-white campus)?
Unless you are attending Morehouse?
73. Black male privilege can identify with white male privilege. Then again, sexism is pretty much all that black men can relate to with white men. Black men cannot exploit white women/other women the way white men can, but, they sure can exploit and commit sexism against black women.
When you cannot dump on those who are dumping on you, and you don’t dare dump on those who can shit on you (white men lambasting black men), then guess who the black man is going to take it out on? The white man?
74. I agree with the author.
As for “normal women” who prefer this, maybe they have simply shut down and are tired of trying to engage conversation.
75. I have trouble being heard and listened to some of the time. Recently I had one man try to correct me, and hell, he did not even know what I was talking about!
And when I let the man explain his viewpoint, it usually is so lop-sided and whacked-out that I wonder where did he get his ideas from. But, I stand my ground. Most of the time, the men have not a clue about the realities of life for many black women. Then again, why should they? Black women are indeed invisible in the BC. And in the world’s eyes.
76. Wow, good one.
77. I agree with the author. ANY NON-BLACK WOMAN would be questioned. Since black men do not face the double standard of racism/sexism, and the beat-down of “non-black ethnic features” that black women face, black women have a harder time in the dating marriage game. It is not that black women are against IRs; they are not. Many are tired of being ignored and attacked by some black men who cannot just marry the damn woman from another race and get on with their lives without having to attack black women to explain why they (black men) are with a non-black woman.
Plus America constantly tells black women to their faces their beauty is to be disparaged and trivialized.
78. And I call you.
Read my “Myth of the Black Matriarchy”:
79. I agree with the author. Too bad many black women do not demand more of a relationship instead of settling for “man-sharing”.
80. Huh? Women are too defined but what they do not do:
-not having sex before marriage
-not being smarter than a man
-not making more money than a man
81. Depends on the mother. Some raise their sons to be self-sufficient. Sadly some do not. I love a man who is self-sufficient. Just as a woman should be self-sufficient with vehicles and machines. Any woman/mother who does not raise her son to cook, clean and learn to take care of a child has committed a geat crime against him.
Oh, and I praise men when I find one that knows how to cook, clean house, balance a checkbook……
…..if ONLY I can actually find men like that.
82. I pity the man who cannot TAKE CARE OF HIMSELF.
“Wrong. It is because of these domestic skills that makes me proud even arrogant. This power is part of an aesthetic that I value—like ancient priests cleaning the temple.”
Go head on, with your bad self.
CHURCH AND RELIGIOUS TRADITIONS:
83. 84. Co-sign.
85. Come on. Don’t even go there. In the BC, black women have had to stifle the assaults of rape, incest and spouse abuse: “Don’t call the law on him. He’s a black man. Haven’t black men suffered enough?”
As if black women have not suffered at the hands of both black and white men.
I say call the cops on the bastard.
Enough of black women and girls suffering in silence from brutality just because some black men do not have the balls NOT to beat up on and destroy black women and girls.
Oh, by the way:
“The framing of this item is just flawed. Most Black men don’t even want to see the police—on a television.”
Tell that to this mother and her young son:
And in case the destroyers of black women have NOT gotten the message, here is a post that drives the point home with no equivocating or hemming and hawing:
86. Lots of times the bond not only does not get weaker…it actually grows.
What’s that old saying……”You are known by the company you keep.”
But, for MATURE men, the bonds do weaken when you realize that your so-called friend is still stuck in the LaBrea tarpit Jurassic period mentality.
87. Maybe not you. But, it does happen.
88. Double-co-sign! Black women are devalued in this society, so ALL males are suspicious to them. White women are valued more, and they know it. Hence the “exclusivity” you speak of.
Also, if many black women were to speak to men of other races, THEY will be considered “loose”, whereas if a white woman does the same thing, she is considered “daring” and adventurous”.
89. And they do not know what a “real man” is. They have not had positive male influence in their lives or else horrible male role models both in and out of the family.
A real man does not use force or coercion. A weak man does that.
90. Ixnay on the body-slamming. Believe me, the banishing is good enough. Besides bodyslamming may get you arrested.
91. I agree with your assessment. Refer back to question #88.
92. Depends on the WOMAN. Depends on the situation. Depends on the other men’s RACE.
Let’s just see you grope a White, Asian, Arab woman in full view of a man of her race—then I want the author to get back with me on the groping without fear of severe bodily destruction from men of other races.
Unless it is a BLACK WOMAN, ALL OTHER WOMEN OF OTHER RACES are hands-off.
93. Please, cry me a river.
Men will never have the fear that women have in traveling alone, BOTH DAY AND NIGHT.
Yes, men in a warzone do face excessive loss of life, but, I feel the author is speaking of daily run-of-the-mill living situations. Yes, men can suffer form being robbed, but, women suffer from being robbed, raped and murdered, as well as tortured before they are murdered.
The wrong is that women HAVE TO LIVE IN FEAR because they are 1) considered property of men; 2) have no right to travel from point A to point B without fear of being harmed. Women are indoctrinated that they have no right to go about their lives, to actually have the audacity to live in this world. So, yeah, it is wrong that women are forced to live much of their lives inside because it was deemed centuries ago that they had no right to live in this world that devalues them so much.
“And I cannot stand people who live in fear.”
What kind of “fear”?
Fear to leave their homes knowing that they may be attacked because they are women
fear they may use a gun because they fear they will face harm?
94. I will agree with the author. I have yet to see men face disregard and groping the way all women have to endure.
Some of my answers were made to Bryan Wilhite over at his site (I either agreed or disagreed with him.) Some of my answers I agreed with the author. For this post, I have expanded on some of my answers/comments/agreements on the checklist.