FROM THE ARCHIVES: THE SECOND CLOSET: DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IN LESBIAN AND GAY RELATIONSHIPS: A WESTERN AUSTRALIAN PERSPECTIVE

Author:	Lee Vickers
Subjects:	Family violence law and legislation Family violence Western Australia (Other articles) Sexual orientation (Other articles)
Issue:	Volume 3, Number 4 (December 1996)
Category:	Refereed Articles

INTRODUCTION

1. In February 1994, Robert McEwan was arrested in Perth, Western Australia, and charged with the wilful murder of his same-sex partner of fourteen years. McEwan’s partner died from multiple stab wounds. McEwan pleaded not guilty, basing his defence on th e “battered wife syndrome” and provocation. 
2. McEwan claimed that he had been “dominated and abused physically, sexually, and emotionally” by his partner for several years. The jury was unable to reach a verdict and the matter was referred back to the Director of Public Prosecutions (DPP) who, in February 1996, decided not to proceed with the wilful murder charge. The DPP accepted the defences as pleaded and a plea of guilty to the lesser charge of manslaughter was recorded. The case is believed to be the first in Australia to successfully rely on the “battered wife (spouse) syndrome” in a same sex relationship. Whilst media attention on the case has focussed exclusively on the use of the “battered wife syndrome”, and has produced ‘titillat ing’ mainstream media headlines like “Gay Killer was Battered Wife”, the case importantly draws attention to the little discussed problem of domestic or intimate violence in same sex relationships. 
3. Although there has been an increased focus in recent years on domestic violence, such efforts have been predominantly directed to heterosexual relationships, specifically to the needs of women escaping violent male partners. While it is acknowledged th at women in heterosexual relationships comprise by far the majority of victims of domestic violence, the discourse on domestic violence in Australia seem to assume that domestic violence is a phenomenon peculiar to the heterosexual community. The absence of any reference to same sex domestic violence is evident, for example, in the recent publication of the Crime Research Centre of WA, “Measuring the Extent of Domestic Violence”.
4. Interestingly, despite the comprehensive coverage in the mainstream and local lesbian and gay print media of the McEwan case, there have been no subsequent articles focussing on the issue of domestic violence in same sex relationships. Arguably, this would have been an ideal opportunity to draw attention to the issue but unfortunately the opportunity has passed and the silence surrounding the issue of same sex domestic violence remains. 
5. The silence that encapsulates same sex domestic violence is a central theme of this paper. 
6. It is not my intention to examine theories of causation, rather, the focus is on the issues relevant to acknowledging and addressing the problem of same sex domestic violence, both generally and within the context of the Perth community. 
7. In Part I of the paper, Recognition of Same Sex Domestic Violence, I define the problem of same sex domestic violence and briefly examine the manifestations, myths and stereotypes, and prevalence, of domestic violence within the context of same sex relationships. 
8. Part II, Issues in Responding to Same Sex Domestic Violence, canvasses the major issues which need to be addressed when considering how to appropriately respond to same sex domestic violence. This part includes a discussion of the reluctance of the lesbian and gay community to acknowledge the problem and the role of heterosexism and homophobia in maintaining their silence, the role and attitudes of the police and courts, and the availability, suitab ility and accessibility of support services for lesbian and gay victims of domestic violence.
9. In Part III, Responses to Same Sex Domestic Violence in Perth, I provide an overview of the extent to which the issue of same sex domestic violence has been acknowledged and addressed both within and outside the lesbian and gay community and explore the resources available to assist battered lesbians and gay men in Perth. Attention is paid to the appropriateness of existing support services, both legal (eg police and the courts) and non legal (eg shelters and counselli ng), and the efforts made to accommodate the needs of battered lesbians and gay men. I. RECOGNITION OF SAME SEX DOMESTIC VIOLENCEA. What is Same Sex Domestic Violence?Domestic violence in all intimate relationships is essentially about power and control, irrespective of the label attached to describe the relationship. Lundy provides a generic definition of domestic violence, describing it in the following way: Domestic violence, whether heterosexual or homosexual, is nothing less than the systematic exercise of illegitimate power and coercive control by one partner over another. The ingredients of Lundy’s definition are also evident i n definitions of lesbian and gay domestic violence. Hart defines lesbian battering as: That pattern of violent and coercive behaviours whereby a lesbian seeks to control the thoughts, beliefs, or conduct of her intimate part ner or to punish the intimate for resisting the perpetrator’s control over her.

    

10. Within the context of gay male domestic violence, Island & Letellier define gay male domestic violence as: Any unwanted physical force, psychological abuse, material or property damage inflicted by one man on another. Th e forms that domestic violence may take in all intimate relationships include physical abuse, isolation, psychological and emotional abuse, threats and intimidation, sexual abuse, economic abuse, and property destruction. Th ere are additionally forms of abuse which are unique to lesbian and gay relationships – abuses which arise as a direct result of the heterosexist and homophobic nature of society. Partners who abuse often use homophobia and heterosexism as a weapon of con trol over their partner in a variety of ways:
    • By ‘outing’ or threatening to out, their partner, to friends, family, employer, police, church or others in the wider community.
    • By telling a partner that no-one will help him or her because the police and the justice system are homophobic.
    • By telling a partner that s/he will not be believed because homosexuals do not rape or abuse their lovers.
    • By telling a partner that s/he deserves it because s/he is homosexual. This type of abuse is indicative of internalised homophobia or self hatred by an abuser.
    • By telling a partner that s/he is not a ‘real’ homosexual because s/he used to relate to men or women, has male/female friends, is a ‘breeder’, or prefers certain sexual practices or behaviours etc.
    • Because of the pervasiveness of heterosexism, an abuser may attempt to convince a partner that the abusive behaviour is normal and that the abused party does not understand gay or lesbian relationships.
    • Abusers can also rely on heterosexist and sexist stereotypes to hide abuse and increase power and control over their partner by portraying the violence as mutual or consensual combat.
    • By telling a male partner that the behaviour is not domestic violence but an expression of ‘masculinity’.

    B. Myths and Stereotypes

     

11. As a heterosexual feminist with an interest in the operation and effects of patriarchy, violence against women by their male partners has been and remains a central concern to me. Lesbian and gay domestic violence has not been an issue which I have con sidered previously in any depth and it is generally the case that same sex domestic violence is not a subject often discussed in feminist domestic violence discourse. 
12. My initial response prior to researching the literature on same sex domestic violence demonstrates some of the preconceived myths which surround the issue. In relation to gay male domestic violence my view was that it would not be surprising to find a significant incidence of domestic violence – after all, men are encouraged to conform to the heterosexual, stereotypical definition of masculinity which venerates aggression and dominance as desirable ‘male’ characteristics. That men are violent and controlling in relation to their male partners is understandable given internalised norms of ‘appropriate’ male behaviour. Internalised homophobia can also result in these norms being further amplified in gay male relationships in an attempt to be accepted as more ‘male’.
13. But what about violence in lesbian relationships? The incidence I thought would be substantially less, absent the patriarchal male-female gender dynamic and its accompanying power differential. Furthermore, ‘female’ as socially constructed emphasis es caring, mutuality, passivity and non aggression, and thus intimate relationships between women are more likely to be ‘equal’ and ‘non violent’. 
14. The above view, which I think is certainly not atypical, is clearly refuted by the literature. 
15. There are indeed many widely held myths which serve to keep the problem of same sex domestic violence closeted. In summary, the more enduring myths which need to be dispelled are as follows:
    • Domestic violence primarily occurs among gay men and lesbians who hang out at bars, are poor or are people of colour.
      
    • Lesbians do not engage in violent abuse against their partners because women are not violent.
    • A batterer must be physically bigger than the party abused.
    • Women in relationships together have equal power.
    • Lesbian battering only occurs in S/M or butch/femme relationships.
    • Lesbian and gay domestic violence is about ‘mutual combat’, not power and control by one partner over the other. The violence is an ‘equal fight’.
    • Violence is a normal part of how some same sex relationships work.
    • Men are never victims of domestic violence. It isn’t violence when gay men fight, rather a case of ‘boys being boys’.
    • Lesbian and gay domestic violence is ‘sexual behaviour’, a form of S/M which both parties enjoy.
    • Domestic violence victims deserve what they get because they provoke the violence.

     

16. These myths must be exposed and challenged in order to acknowledge and begin to address the problem of same sex domestic violence.

Read the rest of the article here:  http://www.murdoch.edu.au/elaw/issues/v3n4/vickers.html