STUFF EDUCATED BLACK PEOPLE LIKE

Here is another blog that writes about “stuff’ (satire) that certain groups of people like.

Last month I posted about “Stuff White People Like”: https://kathmanduk2.wordpress.com/2008/02/19/stuff-white-people-like/

Here is a blog that speaks of “Stuff Educated Black People Like”: http://stuffeducatedblackpeoplelike.wordpress.com/

**************************************************************************

#20.  CORRECTING OTHERS

“Educated Black People Like correcting others. It does not matter the topic or situation, an EBP will never miss an opportunity to correct someone else. Hell, they’ll probably correct this post. An EBP will stop at nothing to show off their so called “educated” status. Whether it be correcting a co-worker on a point of information, or telling their 90 year old grandmother that it’s pronounced “sink” and not “zink”; an EBP knows no boundaries.

As soon as an EBP has completed one semester of college, they’ll behave as though they have just obtained a Ph.D in Everything; even though their GPA was a 2.0 and they never went to class. They will automatically become an expert on spelling, grammar, rocket science, and of course African studies. These EBP come home from college anticipating the opportunity for a family or church member to make a mistake. Watch out Rev. Jeremiah Wright! The degree to which an EBP corrects others depends on whether they are attending or have attended an HBCU or a majority white institution. If the EBP has attented a majority white university, they will be on correction overload; being around all those white students gives them a feeling of superiority to other blacks. They will even correct and attack other EBP who attend HBCUs. It does not matter where the mistake occurs, an EBP will loudly correct the person; embarrassing the non-EBP won’t matter as long as the EBP has had his time to shine. Correcting others gives them a sense that they are somehow better than the other person; which totally isn’t true. They may even sit down with a group of friends and point out the errors in grammar and pronunciation on what else, BET. It validates their “educatedness”.

#19.  OPRAH WINFREY

“EBP are constantly fighting at work or any place else to get ahead and/or be heard, while Oprah can tell white people to read a book or buy a CD and they do it without second thought. How else do you think Jamie Foxx sold so many albums? Oprah! And of course, don’t forget Tom Cruise’s hopping on the couch incident. What other black woman do you know that can make a rich, white man go crazy like he did without holding a gun or knife in her hand? It goes without saying that she can make white people famous. Not even white people cared about Dr. Phil or Racheal Ray until Oprah said they were acceptable white people.

If you are black and having problems getting a job/promotion or trying to obtain a loan, write to Oprah and ask her to do a show about how good it is to hire blacks or loan them money. Either the employer/loan officer or his wife will watch the episode and decide to follow Oprah’s suggestions. Look for your success to follow soon. White people follow Oprah like the Pied Piper! EBP like Oprah because she’s powerful, rich, and kicked Stedman’s trifling self out!”

#13.  TALKING ABOUT UNEDUCATED BLACK PEOPLE

“Besides themselves, EBP like talking about uneducated Blacks who disgrace their race. Most EBP hate those Blacks who are loud in public and draw unnecessary attention to themselves. EBP especially get embarrassed when they are out with their white friends and they run into an uneducated Black person. They usually want to run over and slap the uneducated Black in order to stop whatever stupid behavior they are doing, but of course, this would not be very educated of them.Most educated Blacks are embarrassed by the loud music and large rims uneducated blacks seem to love. Another favorite is poor grammar, which is usually spoken very loudly. When a group of EBP get together, they typically talk about all the uneducated Blacks they saw that day. Conversations on this topic can go on for hours and can range from slippers to do-rags worn in public! With uneducated Blacks constantly doing embarrassing things, this is a never ending conversation.”

#11.  TURKEY BACON/SAUSAGE

“Turkey bacon and turkey sausage allows the educated Blacks to have a happy medium. They get to enjoy all the aroma and (some) flavor of their traditional pork based breakfast sides while showing everyone that they are disciplined enough to kick out the swine. Educated Black people love when they go out to eat with friends and can order turkey sausage from the menu. They enjoy the looks and questions they receive about their selection. This gives them an opportunity to pass on their wisdom about turkey sausage being more healthy than the slab of bacon their friend just ordered… and everyone knows educated Black people like to pass on their wisdom!”

#4  NATURAL HAIR

“Educated Black people like natural hair. They love to show their pride for their race and culture by wearing their hair in its unrelaxed and natural state. This may include a range a styles, such as braids, twists, locs, or freestyle kinky/curly/coily tresses. Since natural hair is so versatile, they can rock any number of styles.

While educated Blacks love for people to admire their hair, they hate it when someone touches it without invitation or permission. And if you do touch it, they HATE stupid comments like, “Wow! I had no idea it was so soft!” That’s a surefire way to get told off. Educated Blacks also love for both Blacks and non-Blacks to comment on how much they love their hair. The standard comments are typically, “I love your hair!” or “I wish my hair could do that!” Educated Blacks love to encourage other Blacks to allow their hair to grow out in its natural state. However, what they love most is to give Blacks that wear relaxers guilt trips about how they are conforming to the European standard of beauty. It makes them feel so much better than you to know that they are educated and liberated enough to not have to be a conformist.”

The site is hilarious and dead-on in its discussions/satire. Go on over and read about the stuff (satire) that educated blacks like. It will make for a fun day. What the heck—we could all do with some laughter (satire) in our lives.

Life is serious enough. 🙂

Enjoy!