Over at Rachel’s Tavern, she put up a post (http://www.rachelstavern.com/?p=815) on comments made by Yobachi of Black Perspective on his post, “Blogging For Justice – “Let’s protect Our Women”, and the response to it by Brownfemipower. I went over to the link provided by Rachel on Brownfemipower’s post ( http://brownfemipower.com/?p=1941) on the “protection” of black women from rape and other forms of sexual violence to post a comment I wrote today in response. Unfortunately, Brownfemipower had closed her post to comments. Sigh.
I have provided a link to my responses on Rachel’s site.
Brownfemipower, I thank you for your support and solidarity for ALL women in the struggle against racial, sexual, gender, class and all forms of domination that all WOC unite and fight against.
Yours always in the struggle.
Here is my response to Yobachi’s verbal tirade against Brownfemipower. I speak on the ineffectiveness and callousness of the phrase, “protect our women”:
“Instead of critiquing Black men, I think white women would do well to concentrate on the little fucking bastards that come forth from your loins, that have and continue to terrorize the earth from corner to corner spreading their xenophobic, euro-centric, misogynistic, caveman culture that is the basis of the rape culture that you want to rid society of. “
It is not the child that comes from the woman’s body that is doing wrong because she/he was born white, or black, or whatever. It is in how the child was/is raised, which is only part of it. The other parts are how that child is affected by society at large, and the final most important part, is how that child meets the world, and in what way that child, as an adult, will be reactive, or proactive in how they handle the world around them. NO child is born hating anyone; they have to be taught to do such evil.
Children are born of TWO parents, not ONE. It is the responsibility of BOTH parents to raise their children to be prepared to learn to live in a world of differences, and to be accepting of differences. Once a person becomes an adult, they have to live with THEIR actions and not to continue in the same vein that parents may or may have not raised/taught them. Nor should that adult child blame Mommy and Daddy because parents did or did not do one thing or another as that child was growing up. Whether or not parents were racists or not, it is up to the ADULT to have the spine to be a man/woman and do right himself/herself, and not blame everyone in the world for the screw ups and wrongs THEY as adults make.
That is what a real man does.
And yes, the larger society has a hand in how it affects the children of this world, but, many so-called “men” out there in this country are only solely interested in their agendas, and not on the consequences of the hand they had in making babies that come into this world. Babies that should have real men for fathers. Real men who treat with respect ALL women, no matter what that woman’s race.
Whether one’s parents were racists, deadbeats, philanderers, thieves, murderers—that is what the parents will have to answer to. An adult is man enough, (or woman enough) to take up the responsibility of THEIR lives. You (in the plural sense) can have the worst parents in the world, or the best parents in the world, in the end the life YOU live will be from the decisions YOU make. Not from the actions of your parents.
Comes a time, when a REAL adult makes their own way in this world.
They do not blame Mommy or Daddy for what the big, bad world does to them. A real man does not trash, beat down, hurt, humiliate, or destroy a woman (verbally, or physically) because she does not kowtow to his demands or ultimatums. A real man knows when to listen, and when to be quiet and heed the honest advice from a woman (no matter what her race) when she is speaking the truth to him.
America is a rape culture. It promotes the denigration of all women, but, especially of black women. Black women do not need “protection”. Black women have the right like all women to live and move about freely without fear of victimization at the hands of rapists and murderers. “Protecting” black women by allowing a society to exist that instills fear in black women whether in their home, or going outside of their home is not going to bring down the causes of rape (devaluation, disrespect, disregard of the personhood, humanity, womanhood of women), not to mention, takes the power of agency, out of the hands of black women; giving male escort to black women who leave their homes is not the answer; it is no more better than imprisoning them as if THEY are the ones who create and bring harm down on themselves, when in reality it is the perps out there who harm women who should have their right to freedom of movement taken away from THEM. Black women, like all women, need to live in a society where they can leave their homes at night just to go to the grocery store to pick up a carton of milk without fear of being kidnapped, tortured, raped, murdered, just because they are women. Black women, like all women, want to be able to walk down and across the streets in their neighborhoods without fear of some stranger pulling up in a car and attempting to harm them in any way, just because they are women. Black women, like all women, want to be able to safely navigate this country, this world, without fear of destruction from men, just because she IS a woman. The problem is not women. The problem are the men are rape and destroy women.
Change the way men are allowed to treat women as “bitches” and “hos”, change the way society okays men who stomp on the humanity of women.
On the other hand, black women definitely need “protection” from those of our black communities who are destroying us the most.
Some comments were made that stranger rapes are uncommon. Well, hell, of course they are uncommon. What stranger rapist is going to go all the way across town to rape a woman who lives in a neighborhood he knows nothing about, to rape a woman he knows nothing about, to attack a woman who is living in her own environment that she knows BETTER than he does? What stranger is going to jump out of the proverbial “bushes” and drag a woman into them, and rape her, not knowing what kind of self-defense class she may have taken? What stranger is going to accost a woman, sight-unseen, that day, and proceed to rape her, not knowing that that hand she has in her bag hanging from her shoulder, that hand he cannot see, may or may not, already be on the trigger of a loaded, and cocked, handgun?
As a stranger-rapist, a man takes a big chance on attempting to rape a woman whose habits he knows nothing about, unless he has already been shadowing her for sometime, and has learned of some of her habits of behaviour to corner her and rape her. Yes, stranger rapes do occur, but, they occur at a very small level. And yes, the chances of the rapist taking the gun from the woman is high, but, because of the way women are devalued in this society, unfortunately causes women to carry handguns which can escalate their chances of being raped AND murdered. And yes, some women have been able to get the drop on men who attempted to rape them, but, Yobachi, wouldn’t you rather have a society that values the worth and humanity of all women, a society where men have more human regard for ALL women, no matter what their race? Where white men treat black women with the same human regard they want black men to show towards white women? A society where black men cease their sexist attacks upon black women in the black community?
You and I know, that all of America devalues and degrades black women more than any other race of women in America, and a huge portion of that degradation has been suffered by black women at the hands of BOTH white men and black men.
Yes, it was not just white men who were raping black women ( and little innocent girls) during slavery. It was black men as well. One of the other reasons that black women went North in the Great Migration was not only to escape away from sexual degradation at the hands of white men, but, also to escape sexual degradation at the hands of black men, as well.
Black women may have been able to escape from the huge amounts of sexual abuse that white men have done to them for 400 years, but, they have yet to escape from the sexual destruction that they continue to endure at the hands of those who are supposed to protect them the most.
If black men are so gungho on doing right by black women, they need to man up and accept that they are the ones who are abusing, raping, killing and attacking black women in their communities, more than anyone else out there in America.
It is those predators in our midst’s, that all women must fear, for those are the ones who know us better than any stranger rapist ever can know a woman. The men of our families, our communities are the ones who can, and often do, cause WOC the most destruction.
As for “protection”, well, I do not want anymore “protection” for black women and girls of the kind that has been dished out to black women/girls from inside the black community, and from without, such as the following:
New York Post
Black women in America, and the world over, have suffered enough from the “protection” of the black community that has just about destroyed black women and girls.
The black women who do often speak out against rape and abuse in their black communities are often branded as “traitors” when some poor, put-upon black man (Genarlow Wilson, Mike Tyson, R. Kelly, etc.) is charged for raping a black woman or girl.
You (as in ALL men) want to see less violence against black women, try as MEN to work towards raising men’s standards in how they should treat all women and girls. Try to raise sons who do not hit, slap, curse or beat a woman or girl. Try raising sons who are strong enough to work with women, not work against them. Try to raise men who will be MEN, not those so-called men who play-act, fake at or simulate at being a man. A strong man does not rape, batter or abuse a woman; only a weak man does such vicious behaviour.
Change the culture that we live in, change the way men are raised to view women as property, as pieces of meat to be consumed, as beings with no rights to autonomy or self-actualization, change the culture that looks upon women as less than human.
Change the way that women have to circumvent, the way women have to curtail their lives , at how women have to live their lives in fear of male aggression.
Until “men” in overwhelmingly large numbers decide that enough is enough of the killing machine of the rape culture that is America, women will have to continue to fear death at the hands not of persons unknown, but, most often, at the hands of person known.