These days, the U.S. Department of Justice and its investigators and prosecutors get accused of a lot of things by conspiracy-minded antigovernment extremists, but here’s a new one. A so-called “sovereign citizen” in the state of Washington, just sentenced to 40 months in prison, has filed suit accusing the government and its agents of using poor grammar and writing at a second-grade level.
David Russell Myrland filed the civil suit in U.S. District Court in Seattle with help from David Wynn Miller, another sovereign who claims he became the “king of Hawaii” in 1996 after turning that state’s name into a verb. (For the record, Miller prefers the “full-colon” spelling of his name, David-Wynn: Miller. Like many sovereigns who don’t recognize most state and federal laws, he claims the government uses grammar to enslave it citizens. By using hyphens and colons in their names, he claims, citizens can escape the grasp of government and its taxes.)
The “evidence” attached to the suit filed Jan. 23 is the federal criminal complaint filed by the Justice Department in January 2011 against Myrland, accusing him of threatening to kidnap and injure the mayor of Kirkland, Wash. Every word in the complaint is painstakingly footnoted as a “syntax-word-key meaning.”
Myrland, part of a sovereign group calling itself “Assemblies of the Counties,” pleaded guilty last August to threatening to use deadly force to arrest various government officials. The group has ties to Alaska militia leader Francis Schaeffer Cox, who faces charges of plotting to kidnap and kill judges and state police officers.
For the past 20 years, Myrland has been illegally practicing law and teaching others how to cheat on their federal income taxes, prosecutors said in court filings when he was sentenced in December.
Somewhere along the way, Myrland hooked up with Miller, who modestly claims he has an IQ of 200 and is a frequent speaker at antigovernment “Patriot” movement gatherings. Both men’s signatures (with hyphens and full colons, of course) are on the suit, along with Miller’s fingerprint atop his signature.
After 10 pages of single-spaced, legal gobbledygook, the suit concludes: “For the ‘why’ of the sheriff’s-statement-writings and: United States Attorney’s-statements-writing are with a second-grade-reading-level and: writing-level and: vacating-facts, opinions, guessing, modifications, viod [sic]-factual-syntax-grammar word-meanings by the vassalees against the collusion-conspiracy with the handycapping [sic]-parse-syntax-grammar-communication-pleadings and: babbling-collusions-threats against the David-Russell: Myrland by the vassalees.”
“For this federal-judge: David-Wynn: Miller’s-correction of the vassalees-fiction-syntax-grammar-pleadings is with the correction-participation-claim of this babble-indictment-evidence and: bad-probation-syntax=grammar-evidence. (Why did the vassalees do this case with a void-communications?) For the void-drogue-law, void-oath of an office, void-judge’s-oath, void-docking-court-house-vessel in the Washington-state-dry-dock and: void-original-lodial-land-title.”
Unsurprisingly, the Myrland-Miller lawsuit has hit a snag.
William McCool, the court executive for the Western District of Washington, sent a letter addressed to both men, saying their suit was not accompanied by an In Forma Pauperis form. The plaintiffs were given until Feb. 23 to either pay a $350 filing fee or prove with a certified copy of Myrland’s prison trust account that he’s truly indigent and can proceed as a pauper.
Father in Heaven, give me strength.
“By using hyphens and colons in their names, he claims, citizens can escape the grasp of government and its taxes.”
Yeah, just put a colon in your name and by golly you can avoid paying city/county/state and federal taxes. That also goes for property taxes, and the Big Kahuna of all taxes–income taxes.
Oh, but you do not have to worry about income taxes, do you David Wynn Miller.
Oops, my bad.
David -Wynn: Miller.
As for David Russell Myrland, you are too busy teaching your fellow cohorts how to break the law.
How does the following sound to you?
Intentionally filing of materially false tax returns is considered tax fraud, and is a criminal offence. Any person convicted of committing tax fraud, or aiding and abetting another in committing tax fraud, may be subject to forfeiture of property and/or jail time.Conviction and sentencing is through the court system.
All the colons in the world will not help you out of such a bind.
Not to mention, disregarding the Elements of Style by William Strunk, Jr. and E. B. White (yes, that’s right, E.B. of Charlotte’s Web fame). I am sure if they were here they would do more than have you write your name 100 times on the blackboard.